I had another gall stone attack at work. It was about, if not worse than the one I had when I went to the ER. I haven’t had one in awhile. I think maybe stress among other things caused it. I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.

It’s strange. I’ve always had the mindset of mind over matter. All I could focus on when it was happening was the pain, and not losing it in the middle of work. It felt like everything inside me was being compressed, like I was deep underwater. My temperature shot up, I started sweating profusely, and I could hear my blood pounding in my ears. It took every ounce of my will to walk.

Am I willing to go under the knife to have it removed? I don’t know. Part of me wants to be done with it. Yank out the eye that offends and all that. Another part of me wants to deal with it, attempt to rehabilitate it. I know it’ll never be how it used to be, unless I get it removed. It’s there for a reason though. It has a function. Not to mention gall stones can still form even after your gall bladder is removed. Yay.

A lot of the stress can be attributed to work, money, things like that. It just agitates me. I have a hard enough time keeping a lid on my emotions. There’s so much I could do at work if there wasn’t so much red tape.

It’s hard adjusting to corporate life.

I’m determined to make it work though. I can handle anything thrown at me. I’ve been through much worse and come out a better person. Is it worth it though? All the lessons, and management books? I’d like to think so. If I’m wrong, well I’ve learned a lot of important lessons there.

When life gives you lemons, you punch life in the face, because you’re damn tired of making lemonade.